this entire week i have been composing a post in my head.
it included some dates that have passed in april. the fifteenth passed with it's random hopeful dreams. our three year mark of deciding to start a family came and went. and our fifth month of being on the wait list is now behind us and we are nearing six months.
i had been thinking of ways to be broad in my statements about this past month. it's been the hardest of any i have known. there has been more on mine and jacob's plate than most even are aware of, that range from all types of varied situations. it has been an incredibly challenging last month to say the very least. in many aspects of our life. but we have needed God on a level we haven't experienced before.
and that part hasn't changed...the part about being more desperate for Him than ever. while i pray answers come, moreso i pray the unsatisfied need for Him remains.
i spent yesterday looking up scriptures and adding them to the notes in my phone to have as a constant reminder of the truth that has been carrying me. and will share them in a new post here. when God is silent, he still speaks in scripture. when you are in need of truth and something to hold to...go to His Word. something i've learned is this. if you are a christian. if you claim it and walk it...then there's no denying the Bible. you may only hear silence. you may feel like you've been lead down a path then left in a dessert. you may feel alone or pointless. but if you say you believe God then you must believe His word that says all those feelings are not truthful about you. he hears every prayer. he catches all your tears in jars. he says he won't leave you or forsake you. he says he carries you. he says he will provide. he says you are never alone. he says he has a plan for you..one in fact laid out before you were born. it says he'll finish that plan he started in you. he says that he also prays for you on your behalf and it even says he is always doing what is best for you as well as what will show Himself the most glory. if you forget it in your season, remind yourself of that hope that is in the scripture.
but mainly i was preparing a post that said "amen. it's may." i couldn't have been more excited for a new month. a fresh. new. month. His mercies are new every morning...but man, His mercies for a new month couldn't have come any quicker.
i was going to then explain how our orphanage is on a freeze. and has been since the end of march. that didn't allow any more babies to come in. and how i would ask you for prayers for a third social worker so that by mid-may our orphange wouldn't lose it's license and close for two years.
and now, as the end is coming to may 1st...a day and week full of it's own new frustrations...we just got word that a third social worker has been found! and that the paperwork has been sent into the taiwanese goverment!!!
and then i balled.
among many weights this past month, the prayer for a social worker has been near the top. several of our close friends and family have also been waring for us as well. and while i felt numb to the situation, i also had a quiet confidence in God. a trust that said if one isn't found in the next two weeks (after a 9+ month search) and our orphanage closes, you must have a better plan. a trust said that even in pain, he had better. so we prayed. those things in which i have no control over (which encompasses so much of our lives right now) i can do no more then to trust and do the best i can with what i have.
we aren't past it all yet...the paperwork must go through and be approved before the freeze on babies coming in will be lifted...but hope rises. they currently have 9 babies at the orphanage and all have matches with parents already. so while we know it's very likely it could be a bit still before they have more babies (OUR baby(ies)) or we get a call, the possibility has returned for it at least being feasible now...maybe even for this year.
so now i have a new prayer request...to the diligent hand full-ish of people that apparently read this blog (feel free to comment sometime)...the nine babies at the orphanage who have matches, haven't been assigned court dates in months. pray that the judges would begin to move on their behalf. that paperwork would begin to go through, court dates would be established and that the current standstill would come to a close and efficiency would take priority. that is our new main prayer.
God is on the move. always. sometimes we feel it and sense it and sometimes we don't. this month has been a test in trusting what i don't see, believing when there's no signs, and hoping when i don't feel like it anymore. this season is good. so hard, but so good. someone prayed the other day over an event and said he was thankful for victory that was already had. victory has been established in my heart and the daily walking out of it is often trying...but i'm never alone.
thanks so much for the prayers already lifted up and thank you for those continuing to come.
i'll post all the scripture in a new post so no one is overwhelmed by the length of the post. :)
bring on may.
it included some dates that have passed in april. the fifteenth passed with it's random hopeful dreams. our three year mark of deciding to start a family came and went. and our fifth month of being on the wait list is now behind us and we are nearing six months.
i had been thinking of ways to be broad in my statements about this past month. it's been the hardest of any i have known. there has been more on mine and jacob's plate than most even are aware of, that range from all types of varied situations. it has been an incredibly challenging last month to say the very least. in many aspects of our life. but we have needed God on a level we haven't experienced before.
and that part hasn't changed...the part about being more desperate for Him than ever. while i pray answers come, moreso i pray the unsatisfied need for Him remains.
i spent yesterday looking up scriptures and adding them to the notes in my phone to have as a constant reminder of the truth that has been carrying me. and will share them in a new post here. when God is silent, he still speaks in scripture. when you are in need of truth and something to hold to...go to His Word. something i've learned is this. if you are a christian. if you claim it and walk it...then there's no denying the Bible. you may only hear silence. you may feel like you've been lead down a path then left in a dessert. you may feel alone or pointless. but if you say you believe God then you must believe His word that says all those feelings are not truthful about you. he hears every prayer. he catches all your tears in jars. he says he won't leave you or forsake you. he says he carries you. he says he will provide. he says you are never alone. he says he has a plan for you..one in fact laid out before you were born. it says he'll finish that plan he started in you. he says that he also prays for you on your behalf and it even says he is always doing what is best for you as well as what will show Himself the most glory. if you forget it in your season, remind yourself of that hope that is in the scripture.
but mainly i was preparing a post that said "amen. it's may." i couldn't have been more excited for a new month. a fresh. new. month. His mercies are new every morning...but man, His mercies for a new month couldn't have come any quicker.
i was going to then explain how our orphanage is on a freeze. and has been since the end of march. that didn't allow any more babies to come in. and how i would ask you for prayers for a third social worker so that by mid-may our orphange wouldn't lose it's license and close for two years.
and now, as the end is coming to may 1st...a day and week full of it's own new frustrations...we just got word that a third social worker has been found! and that the paperwork has been sent into the taiwanese goverment!!!
and then i balled.
among many weights this past month, the prayer for a social worker has been near the top. several of our close friends and family have also been waring for us as well. and while i felt numb to the situation, i also had a quiet confidence in God. a trust that said if one isn't found in the next two weeks (after a 9+ month search) and our orphanage closes, you must have a better plan. a trust said that even in pain, he had better. so we prayed. those things in which i have no control over (which encompasses so much of our lives right now) i can do no more then to trust and do the best i can with what i have.
we aren't past it all yet...the paperwork must go through and be approved before the freeze on babies coming in will be lifted...but hope rises. they currently have 9 babies at the orphanage and all have matches with parents already. so while we know it's very likely it could be a bit still before they have more babies (OUR baby(ies)) or we get a call, the possibility has returned for it at least being feasible now...maybe even for this year.
so now i have a new prayer request...to the diligent hand full-ish of people that apparently read this blog (feel free to comment sometime)...the nine babies at the orphanage who have matches, haven't been assigned court dates in months. pray that the judges would begin to move on their behalf. that paperwork would begin to go through, court dates would be established and that the current standstill would come to a close and efficiency would take priority. that is our new main prayer.
God is on the move. always. sometimes we feel it and sense it and sometimes we don't. this month has been a test in trusting what i don't see, believing when there's no signs, and hoping when i don't feel like it anymore. this season is good. so hard, but so good. someone prayed the other day over an event and said he was thankful for victory that was already had. victory has been established in my heart and the daily walking out of it is often trying...but i'm never alone.
thanks so much for the prayers already lifted up and thank you for those continuing to come.
i'll post all the scripture in a new post so no one is overwhelmed by the length of the post. :)
bring on may.
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